May 17, 2003

"May God Bless You". That's what I hear from lotsa friends or read on many emails that my friends send to me. Up till recently, I just think it's a kind gesture on their part. I really appreciate it, but let's admit it, for someone who is a part time participant in religious activities, I don't really believe that whoever's up there would be able to bless me all the time. I mean, c'mon! I wouldn't count on it manz.

But, just 2 days ago, it was Vesak Day. I'm a Buddhist, I mean, part time buddhist, anyway. So, as part requisite to fulfil my part time status, I had to go chock up hours at the temple. Well, and accumulate merit so that I can get away with little sins that i may commit from now till the next Vesak (like lying. one of the five precepts of Buddhist Dharma is abstinence from lying. But of course, still do happen once in awhile). haha. So, I started saying prayers, started praying for people around me.

Then, it suddenly struck me that (okay, so mebbe I wasn't concentrating on my praying.. but still..) it really doesn't matter if whoever's up there (sorry if this whoever's up there thing sounds really really rude to those with a religious faith. You know I don't mean it that way) hadn't find the time to bless you, yet. You count your blessings simply 'cos someone cared enough to wish that God will bless you. It's the thought that counts eh.

Because, I actually keep some people in prayers, even though I don't pray a lot. But, when I do happen to put my palms together and close my eyes and start praying, there are actually some people who I keep in my prayers. Some of them probably don't even figure in my life, anymore. It's strange how it comes so naturally, to say a little prayer for someone who has come by your life but has left what seems like ages ago too, leaving footprints behind, footprints you sometimes think you'd be better off without.

Tomorrow's my sister's 21st birthday. Now I know you can keep telling yourself you are ONLY 23 year old, still in youth, and all. But, if you gonna wake up next morning for your younger sister's 21st birthday, that's when you know you are actually not so young anymore. And that's when you realise, also, that your parents are aging faster than you thought. Then, you get damn scared.

Still remember that childhood song that goes "When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother what would I be...."? Que Sera Sera...



Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 03:12